There is an unintentionally hilarious article in the Florida Bar News that curiously does not involve or even mention my pal George L. Metcalfe.
It purports to compare the palatial “Taj Mahal” like new 1st DCA facility with, of all things, our own little bunker.
Let’s see how we stack up!
** Fasano was critical of a rubber-floored exercise area in the new First DCA, which he referred to as a gymnasium. But other DCAs also have exercise areas. But all are ad hoc, set up in storage areas or mechanical rooms and using donated equipment.
That’s right — I know this because I personally donated my old vibrating belt, which you can see in use at the 3d DCA closet/gym in this undated photo:
I also gave them my old medicine ball and a pair of kettle bells — hey wait, all these things are making comebacks!
** Fasano also noted that the First DCA “gymnasium” had an attached shower room and wondered how common that was. All of the other DCAs reported having showers although they were part of restrooms. Most reported one or two showers for each gender, with the exception of the Third DCA, which has separate showers in seven of its judicial suites.
Let’s see, ten judges but only seven showers — that math works for me.
** The private bathrooms for judges at the First DCA also have garnered attention. They include a toilet, a mahogany medicine cabinet, and a marble-topped small vanity with sink, in a space about the size, or perhaps a little larger, of a bathroom in a typical home. Every other DCA, with the exception of the Second DCA’s Tampa branch courthouse, also include bathrooms for judges, although smaller. Suhr noted the Second DCA’s bathrooms are four by six feet — less than half the size of the First DCA’s. Third DCA Marshal Al Sadowski said the small judicial bathrooms there each have a toilet and a sink bolted to the wall.
Bolted to the wall? You mean like in prison?
** Fasano also criticized the kitchens in each judicial suite, which feature a sink and a long, marble-topped counter over painted cabinets. The Second and Third DCAs do not have kitchens in the judicial suites.
Excuse me, but is someone forgetting a certain coffee maker?
Anyways, I’d take a private shower over a kitchen any day.
** In appearance, there is little in common between the new First DCA courthouse and other DCA courthouses. Those are one or two story structures where any columns appear to be almost symbolic, while the First DCA features large columns inside and outside of its three-story home. None of the others include domes, which is an architectural highlight of the First DCA structure.
This is unfair — I believe the bunker’s architecture speaks for itself.
(Oops — have I gone too far?)