3d DCA Watch — Approaching a Bunker Meltdown.

It’s a hot, sweltering day out there, but due to budget cuts the bunker is legally mandated to maintain a constant year-round temperature of precisely 87 degrees.

Damn you, Tallahassee!

Onward:

St. Louis v. FIU:

Judge Shepherd reverses a jury verdict against FIU for racial discrimination and retaliation, basically finding the whole shebang should have been out on sj:

St. Louis, a Trinidadian man, was hired in November 1997….

Hey, is this a racial or ethnic origin case?

Last I checked, there are lots of folks in Trinidad of Indian origin, a story that has been fascinatingly told (and retold) by the truly great author V.S. Naipaul (even if he is mighty cranky and a skirt-chaser to boot).

In Re: Name Change of Imad Doujieji:

Why would Judge Espinosa Dennis deprive Mr. Doujieji of an opportunity to change his name?  You try giving that name out on the phone to your plumber!

(Dear readers — it has come to my attention that Doujieji is the name this person actually wants to be known as.  My humble apologies.)

R.J. Reynolds v. Ferrell:

Boy, get a load of the lawyer list representing Big Tobacco on this appeal:

Greenberg Traurig, and Elliot H. Scherker, David Ross, Sabrina Ferris, Julissa Rodriguez, Brigid F. Cech Samole; Carlton Fields, and Benjamin Reid, Alina Alonso, and Olga M. Vieira; Jones Day, and Stephanie E. Parker, John F. Yarber, and John M. Walker (Atlanta); Carlton Fields, and Gary L. Sasso and Joseph H. Lang, Jr. (Tampa); Boies, Schiller & Flexner, and Stephen N. Zack, Steven W. Davis, Mark J. Heise, and Pedro M. Allende, for appellants.

That’s four law firms (one has two locations listed) and 17 lawyers! Being generous, that approximates three lawyers for every word in the affirmance.

In other words, just about enough to fill the bunker hot tub.

TP Orlando 504 v. Seymour Int’l:

Judge Emas handles this more deftly than I would have:

Appellant, the plaintiff below, seeks review of an order denying its motion for partial final summary judgment on one count of its six-count complaint.

Oy vez mir got in himmel!

I’m not suggesting anyone handling this appeal suffers from this, but generally speaking I love lawyers who can spend hours debating the intricacies of the three-second rule but who are clueless about basic rules governing what they do for a living.

Judge Emas explains the problem with trying to appeal a denial of a partial sj motion that deals with only one count in the complaint:

Appeals of non-final orders are strictly limited to those specifically listed in Florida Rule of Appellate Procedure 9.130(a)(3). An order denying summary judgment is not appealable pursuant to Rule 9.130(a)(3), and this court lacks jurisdiction to entertain this appeal.

Seriously, how could anyone possibly know this?