3d DCA Watch — Special Ham-And-Egger Israeli Thanksgiving Day Edition!

Hi kiddies, it’s a glorious Wednesday and yet I am still here in the office. Why the hail is that?A better question — why are you?

Go home, spend some time with your spouse, children and/or significant other(s). Give thanks. Help someone else out. That’s what it’s all about anyways, right? I mean, haven’t you all seen Scrooged?

Still, there is no rest for the resplendently robed yet weary coffee-swillers down south, who toil silently in their prefab concrete courtroom bunker, dispensing PCAs like Thanksgiving turkeys at a Sarah Palin cookout, who must week after week feed the insatiable need for justice created by all you busy state court practitioners — yes dear readers it’s a very special Turkey Day edition of what those of us in the know like to call…..3d DCA Watch:

Oh goody — it’s reiterate basic law hornbook day! There are a whole raft of civil opinions this week, and yet not one that is even remotely profound. Get ready ham-and-eggers, this one’s for you:

Sunny Isles v. Publix:

Note to Publix — you have to exhaust your administrative remedies first before you sue to have some bullcrap “submerged land” counted as part of your new glorious shopping/housing/superstore/habitrail.(And yes, I have to reluctantly admit that Judge Shepherd got this one right, with little to no obtuse linguistic construction or broad policy-making asides).

Oquendo v. Citizens Property:

No Virginia, you cannot get “fees on fees” in this District. But you knew that, didn’t you?

Seagull v. Edlund:

A 2.0 contingency multiplier is not excessive, for reasons that cannot be disclosed, involving a set of facts that also cannot not disclosed. Please never refer to this opinion again.

Jenkins v. Motorola:

If you are pro se and constantly file motions that are utterly baseless and make no sense at all, you will eventually piss everyone off.So let’s see, anything else?

Israel v. Flick Mortgage:

Whoa — what do we have here? A bunch of Israeli citizens all made purchases in Israel of homes located in Florida at something called “Lake Marion Golf Resort.”

My mischpuchas, I could have told you you might as well plant an etrog tree on Mars — you will not ever, under any circumstances, want to be anywhere near this alleged “Lake Marion Golf Resort.”Sure enough, finally someone learned this was a very bad idea, so they sue in Israel against the defendant and others to unwind the deal. Service effected by registered mail on Flicka here in South Florida, Flicka challenges personal jurisdiction in Israel, loses, stops defending, judgment obtained, case closed, right?Flash forward and now the Israelis want to enforce the judgment in South Florida. Trial court says no, finding no personal jurisdiction in Israel because of insufficiency of service of process.

Oops! Turns out the statutes at issue are very specific and enumerate the grounds under which a defendant can deny enforceability. Relitigating how the defendant was notified of the lawsuit is not a valid ground, although the timing of notice could be. Here Flicka had plenty of notice and in fact appeared in Israel to challenge personal jurisdiction.

Plus, there’s this little hornbook rule we have about raising claims of insufficiency of service of process:

In Florida, failure to raise insufficiency of service of process as a ground for dismissal at the earliest opportunity constitutes a waiver of that defense.

Since Flicka appeared in Israel and did not raise any issues about how they were served, they pretty much blew it.See, I told you it was ham-and-egger day! And a great day for a few meshugena Israeli home buyers, who should know it would be all goyim living in something called “Lake Marion Golf Resort” — assuming such a place even exists anyplace other than Arkansas or maybe near Gatlinburg.

So eat up, give thanks for all the blessings in your life, and rejoice that as bad as it may seem sometimes, there is much to be thankful for. Start small and count them all — we live in a great country, we are fortunate to do what we do, and — unless you are a Detroit Lions fan — Thanksgiving is a nearly perfect holiday.