In a dramatic turnaround, Chinese Drywall defendant Banner Supply’s controller Scott Giering recanted his fart-embracing deposition testimony on the stand yesterday:
The first witness to take the stand was Banner controller Scott Giering, who had said during a deposition that some people might actually like the smell caused by drywall in some homes — that of rotten eggs or flatulence.
“I truly regret that statement that some people like that smell or enjoy that smell,” Giering said. “I would prefer not to live in a house that smells like rotten eggs.”
Under an ENTIRELY FICTIONAL cross-examination, however, Giering’s tough anti-fart stand evaporated into the ether, leaving only the faint taint of warmed-over Indian food:
Ervin Gonzalez: Did you or did you not tell me in your deposition that some people like farts?Scott Giering: Yes, I did. But I have an explanation.EG: You do? Go ahead and share your “flatulence epiphany” with the jury.SG: I prayed for guidance, and realized in my heart that farts truly do smell bad.EG: Oh sure you did.SG: No, really, my testimony today is the truth. I’m sorry for any confusion.
EG: {Ppwwwwwtttt}
SG: (uncomfortable silence)
EG: (turns rear towards witness and waves hands furiously)
SG: Oh god. Oh oh god. (starts crying) That’s lovely, that’s truly lovely! My is that aroma amazing…..please one more, oh God oh oh…….
EG: (glances knowingly at jury) I have nothing further, your honor.
