Evan B. Plotka: “I Sue Jews. I Defend Muslims.”

To be fair, Evan from Hollywood sues and represents lots of people of all varieties and color, and sometimes even clients who lack any color at all:

The last wills I drafted were for a Puerto Rican couple (man and woman). The last power of attorney — a Hispanic. I sue Jews. I defend Muslims. Earlier today, I drafted a motion to dismiss for an albino…

First of all, I’m really happy Johnny Winter has solid legal representation.

But I’ll go you one better — I had a client walk in the other day who I swear was a one-legged transgendered Gypsy small person Kutchi who happened to hail from the Principality of Andorra.

(BTW, I checked and there is in fact a Bar organization devoted to these people — the OLTGSPKPA Bar Association.)

Evan, however, sees a world where all lawyers melt into a giant pot of legal stew:

I call on the presidents of the Miami-Dade Chapter of the Florida Association for Women Lawyers, the Cuban American Bar Association, the Puerto Rican Bar Association, the Gwen S. Cherry Black Women Lawyers Bar Association, the Wilkie D. Ferguson Bar Association, and the Muslim Bar Association, together with other segregated bar associations not mentioned in the article, to disband. Everyone can then meet at the DCBA like one big happy family. 

Question — have you been to big family gatherings? 

In my experience they are rarely happy, and usually involve at least one drunk Uncle who won’t stop asking about who you’ve been dating.