FBA B SD FL BABC Awards!

Don’t you hate lawyers who insist on lengthy, unwieldy acronyms to denote a party in a brief when it is abundantly obvious who is being referred to?

Last I checked, these acronyms (or initialisms?) are supposed to assist, ease or otherwise make the reading experience better for the reader, not clog up a brief with technically accurate yet preposterously long combinations of random initials that serve no purpose other than to make your sentences unreadable.

Alright, onto the FBA B SD FL BABC awards!

Best 70s building that was vaguely updated at some point in the late 80s:

Doral!

Yep, that hulking, aging colossus served us well and showed us that hairy old dogs can still teach us youngins a thing or two (no, I’m not referring to Bob Josefsberg).

Best meat market to pick up other lawyers or judges:

The “networking sessions” near the main ballroom!

It was hot, tight, and filled with lots of attractive people holding glasses filled with dark liquids. All we needed was a disco ball and some Kool and the Gang and those “sessions” could have taken on a whole new meaning.

Best no-show that made the event much much better:

This one’s a no brainer —

We regret that scheduled keynote speaker Associate Justice Clarence Thomas has a Supreme Court conflict which will prevent his participation.

Sorry, swlip!Actually, Judge Dubina was pretty interesting (if you could hear him above the din).Hey schmuckies, when the Chief Judge of the 11th Circuit is addressing you, shut the hail up and eat your chow.

Best-run plenary session by a guy who actually dressed up nice and wore a suit and tie for the occasion:

Who else — Scotty D!

Kudos to Brian Spector and Adam Rabin and all the organizers, judges and participants for making this the best FBA B SD FL BABC yet.

(Boy, that really rolls off the tongue.)