Glenn Garvin, Legal Scholar.

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Forget 2012, the apocalypse is now:

Continuing its slide into self-parody, the Miami Herald’s lovable right-wing TV critic, Glenn Garvin, is now also a legal scholar.

In the first of his biweekly opinion columns, he wades into the 11th Circuit’s Vamos a Cuba opinion, and naturally gets everything pretty much totally wrong:

Librarians may imagine themselves high priests, beyond the control of mere mortals, but the School Board correctly recognized them for what they are: public employees, accountable to the people who pay their salaries.

Yeah, what’s with these high-falutin’ librarians, always telling us to shuush, their long flowing hair pulled tightly into a neat conservative bun, their smart glasses perched down their demurely sexy noses, imagine what long legs, garters and silk could be underneath all that sensible buttoned-down business attire???Oops, sorry, I got a little distracted.Anyways, go get ’em Garvin — knock those “high-priest librarians” down a peg, buddy — I can’t think of anybody more deserving!!

Glenn, you can be mildly amusing at times, but stick to what you know — profiling fair and balanced guys like Brit Hume and Glenn Beck, ripping into revered liberal icons like John Lennon, scaring people about the alleged return of the Fairness Doctrine, and being the only TV critic in the country who raved about that now-canceled Fox News “Daily Show” disaster.

But leave the warmed-over Jonah Goldberg to…well, Jonah Goldberg.