Jerry Borbon’s Wife is Terrified.

Like many of you, I get ready for work in the morning the old-fashioned way: by downing two raw eggs dropped into a shot of whiskey.

Then I jump in my mint-green Dodge Dart, turn up the Terry Jacks, and head downtown.

But some of these new-fangled fancy-pants tree-huggers, however, want to “save” the “environment.”And isn’t that always how trouble starts?

For example, take foreclosure defense attorney Jerry Borbon, whose wife drives an (allegedly) scary yet environmentally safe car:

“My wife has been worried about it for a while. She’s eight months pregnant and she’s terrified to drive the car now,” said Jerry Borbon, a Miami lawyer who is still driving his 2008 Toyota Prius and is a plaintiff in a potential class-action lawsuit.

“We thought about trying to get rid of it, but we’re stuck with it,” he said, adding Toyota’s damaged reputation has made it hard to sell the vehicle. “I don’t feel secure in the car and I don’t want my wife driving it.”

Jerry, here’s what you need to do.

You need to let regulators like NHTSA and the Transportation Department handle it. The government has proven it knows how to deal with this stuff and they have a lot of experienced people there:

A Washington Post analysis shows that as many as 33 former National Highway Traffic Safety Administration employees and Transportation Department appointees left those jobs in recent years and now work for automakers as lawyers, consultants and lobbyists and in other jobs that deal with government safety probes, recalls and regulations.

Oy.

On second thought, better call Mike Eidson?