SFL Friday — My Bonnie Better Lie Way the Hail Over the Ocean

Like that freaky old gypsy in Drag Me to Hell, Cavs owner Dan Gilbert has apparently cursed all of South Florida with a form of revenge known as “Tropical Storm Bonnie.”

Thanks for being such a d$%k, Dan.

So get with your loved one (or ones), hunker down, start serving libations early and roll with the weekend — but make sure to buy lots of batteries first.

I had a reading comprehension question in connection with this article from the Herald, about an FHP officer who apparently wrote hundreds of bogus tickets:

Lawrence, who was based in Miami-Dade, wrote the tickets to boost his overall count reported to superiors, prosecutors said. FHP has said it doesn’t set quotas for tickets.

What part am I missing here? Why can’t prosecutors ascertain the relationship between the “overall count reported to superiors” and an officer’s job evaluations, pay raise evaluations, or other performance incentives at FHP?

In other news, consider this:

Approximately half of all Americans say they have sex at least once a week.

Now that is just gross — have you seen what half of all Americans look like?

All I can say to send you off on a wet, dreary weekend is to get on the right side of that statistic, stay safe and let’s hope Kathleen Williams gets confirmed sometime before the end of President Obama’s third term (congrats!!!!).

Have a great weekend!