Someone Is Not Reading David’s Blog.

Here we go again:

Notices of Unavailability.

There, I said it. Practitioners, let me be your (mostly secular) Rabbi.

When you are about to tell a federal judge not to do anything in your case for a month — nothing at all, don’t do a single thing even if she is about to grant your summary judgment motion and end the case in your favor — DON’T DO IT JUDGE because I plan to be (a) in Aruba (b) having my goiter removed (c) farting around the house watching internet porn or (d) going to a Star Trek convention.

Ok, maybe the last one.

But otherwise, don’t do it.

Do you really think Judge King is going to care about your personal schedule?

Last summer when I had the pleasure and honor of filling in for DOM, we discussed this thanks to a fantastic order on the subject by Magistrate Judge Brown:

The parties should note that there is no local rule in our Court providing for the filing of same, and no federal rule supporting same.  While the Court is not precluding anyone from filing same, and as a matter of professionalism and courtesy they should be considered, the parties should understand that these filings have no legal significance.

Although there were several valid points made in comments worth considering, I stand with Judge Brown on this — unless you know of an imminent date scheduled in your case that you currently have a conflict with, then why are bothering the Judge with the possibility that at some theoretical point in the future there may be a development in the case, and if and only if that were to happen, and the event required my physical appearance, and no one in my office could cover it, and I can’t get back to deal with it, and my magical iPad stopped working and I can’t download your orders anymore, then and only then it could be a problem and I just wanted you to know my personal comings and goings because there exists a remote possibility that this incredible confluence of events could somehow come together over the next thirty days and thereby create a personal problem for me.

Other than that, Judge, carry on!