My Advice To Tiger Woods.

OK, so you finally did something smart.

Your latest statement, following two pathetic attempts, was much better:

I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

Thank you — “infidelity” is infinitely superior to “transgression.”And this time you’re not blaming the media (poor form given all you knew you did) or railing against “unfounded and malicious rumors” that turned out to be true.

Your lawyer Mark NeJame kept the cops at bay and you wound up with a parking ticket, so that part’s done.

But your ridiculous changing story lines and two initial statements were major missteps.Now after finally demonstrating acceptance and refusing to battle the emerging salacious details and the press, you are on the right path.Next thing is to stay silent and let all the rumors and details emerge — you can’t control them at this point, and it’s best to get them all out there now.

Photos, sex the night your Dad died, possible love children, get it all out in the open. They will eventually taper off.

While this is happening, get the wife back on board — revise the prenup and give her what she wants:

According to reports, Tiger Woods is offering Elin Nordegren $5 million immediately to stay married to him now and a $55 million prenuptial if she sticks with him for another two years.

Their current prenuptial gives Elin a $20 million settlement only if the two have remained married for 10 years.

The prenuptial rewrite entails a reduction in the time period to seven years along with a $55 million settlement staggered over five years that could be worth more than $75 million.

When you have her back by your side, get ready for Oprah sometime in mid March — long enough for all the details to have come out, but early enough to have an impact on your triumphant, chastened return to the Masters in April.Your sports-loving fan base will accept you — hail they already do, given that your reckless behavior and choice of women reflect an air-dried, objectified Playboy pinup fantasy that plays well with many an American sports fan.That means your sponsors — catering to these fans — will come back if you continue on this path to public redemption.Oh yeah, two other things.One, the mainstream media dropped the ball completely on this story. Forget the sports press — beholden to you, your sponsors, IMG etc. — you never gave them access and you punished reporters who did not comply with your rules, so no wonder you were never caught and no one even thought to try to catch you.

Yes, it was the lowly National Enquirer again breaking a massive story that the MSM missed, though they’re just as willing to dupe their readers in exchange for access:

Earlier that year, according to Neal Boulton, the former editor in chief of Men’s Fitness magazine, the National Enquirer squelched a story about a tryst Woods had in an SUV in exchange for Woods agreeing to pose for the cover of Men’s Fitness. Both publications are owned by American Media Inc. The New York Post reported the agreement Dec. 2.

Second, get some help.Does this behavior indicate a man that is happy with himself and his place in life?

I’m not a big fan of “sex addiction” (except on Showtime’s excellent Californication), but your self-destructive, desperate behavior has to be addressed before you can ever hope to move on.

In the meantime, sit back and enjoy the ride.